A lot of things go sterile
without our realizing it.
I am not who I was a year ago, or two.
Not exactly.
What excited me then
doesn’t excite me anymore,
or to a lesser degree, perhaps.
The relationship changes.
But inevitably we end up with habits and
sometimes it takes a good long time
to realize that you’re not enjoying yourself anymore,
or finding any real pleasure
in what you used to.
*
Sometimes I get the sense
(not very original)
that my life is without meaning
or purpose,
and this idea,
unsurprisingly,
makes me feel pretty sad.
Because, I think,
what work can I point to?
or look at myself
with my own eyes
to prove to myself
that, Yes,
I’ve worked and, voilà,
there’s the proof.
(I just reread
what I’ve written so far
two or three times
and I’m losing steam here.
I don’t know where to go.)
*
The courage
and patience
to keep to my path
as I find it
each hour
each day,
giving
and acting
wherever I am,
the best I can,
true to myself
and to what
and to who
I love,
amen.
