[We only learn
in getting punched
or hit;
(metaphorically, mind you:
in effort,
in resistance,
in determination
and persistance
through pain and discomfort,
be it only
in the private space
our heads and bodies and thoughts and feelings,
etc.)]
*
A case to be made
that resentment
or aversion
for other people
always backfires
and rebounds on you,
the resenter,
(it’s a law,
the law of compensation:
we get what we give,
we reap what we sow)
& ensnares you
in the trap
(think of political partisans
or fanatics
for any cause
or idea
of any time, anywhere)
of resembling what you resent (or hate),
(if you deny
the humanity
of others,
(and our birthright
to being flawed, and silly, and complex, and full of contradictions)
you forfeit
your own
— perhaps because
we tend to resent
what causes us fear
or discomfort,
what we don’t understand,
but inevitably we tell ourselves
or convince ourselves
(poor humans that we are)
that it’s not us,
but the other,
(& not that
we just don’t understand,
and this not understanding
is neither
good
nor bad,
but neutral,
people and the world
are just infinitely complex
and nuanced,
always changing
and evolving
and full
of contradictions,
like us)
unable to realize
and accept the fact
that we’re just scared or insecure
(our beating hearts and shaking hands
are thinking and deciding
and believing
for us),
a scapegoat
or target
for our pain and suffering,
the pain we feel in our body,
needed, necessary,
a mechanical reflex
in all of us,
and this plays out
every day everywhere
in every body.
(Important
to realize
the role
the body plays,
or the fear and pain we feel
in our bodies,
in mechanically shaping
our beliefs and prejudices
about the world
and other people;
our minds
(in a calm body,
in tandem with our hearts)
could not agree
or come up with
the insanities
and cruelties
we find
on social media
or TV,
or in those who live and feel by them;
and I should add
(I need to add)
in ourselves,
whoever we are,
when we’re scared
or surprised
or hurting,
and,
in spite of ourselves
and our hearts
and what we really know,
blaming
and hating
and fearing others,
who are,
at bottom,
and behind the social masks
and costumes
and conventions
and convenient gimmicks
we come up with
and inevitably believe in
(poor saps that we all are)
truly
really
no different from ourselves).
*
Knowledge
(or ‘information’:
what we read
or study
or look up, etc.)
doesn’t become
understanding
without effort
and persistance
in this effort
over time:
it’s never just a matter
of looking something up
or just reading a book
(or a Wikipedia article,
or an AI response):
knowing something
is not understanding something.
You can know practically everything
but understand essentially nothing
(a very strong feeling for most of us today, I’d say).
You can know the manual
for the exercise equipment
or all the notes and theory
for a song,
but be absolutely useless
when it comes to
using this knowledge,
putting it into practice,
speaking from
or living from
this knowledge,
its only being
theoretical in you,
not flesh and bone,
muscle,
lived…
You use what you know
or you don’t;
you understand what you say
or don’t
(and it’s always obvious
for us
when we don’t).
Someone who understands
has tried and failed
repeatedly,
has taken the (necessary) pains,
given
and paid for
(at least
as much as they could;
we never completely understand anything).
and consistently,
faithfully,
determined not to simply know
but truly understand.
*
A bit overdone, perhaps, this post,
I get like that sometimes,
and I beg your pardon,
I wish it was prettier,
less crude,
etc.
But
c’est comme ça,
at least for now,
it’s how it came out this morning,
perhaps some day
I’ll have words
more elegant, refined, etc.
